Revenge of History (2010년 1월 16일)

The best and funniest news so far this year is that younger Korean parents prefer daughters to sons. In a survey of parents of 2,078 babies born in 2008, the Korea Institute for Health and Social Affairs and the Korea Educational Development Institute found that 37.4 percent of fathers wanted to have daughters, while 28.6 percent longed for sons. When it came to mothers, 37.9 percent preferred daughters, compared to 3l.3 percent who wanted sons.

``What sweet revenge against history!" I thought the moment I saw the report and was immediately reminded of a meeting of maturing women, or grown-up daughters, last year. All the women were over 50 and their conversation touched almost everything from politics to fur coats until it finally settled on one topic: the discrimination they suffered as daughters against their male siblings.

It was quite a revelation to me, especially as a woman, because I always thought that they were lucky girls born to well-educated, affluent parents. ``My parents call me when they need a driver. If I am busy, they call my sister. They never call my brothers. They think sons are for more important assignments," a friend grumbled.

``Same here," a sarcastic voice seconded. ``I used to do all the errands for my parents, doing their tax reports and often serving as an unpaid driver and cook. They thanked me sometimes but only in words. When it came to money matters, they wouldn't say a word to me; they discussed money with my brother without my knowledge."

A friend chimed in: ``My friend is the eldest daughter who now lives in America. She was a truly devoted child throughout her life whether in Korea or in America. Several times a year, she would fly into Seoul simply to confirm her parents' well-being. But now she is trying hard to change herself."

``What happened?" An impatient voice asked.

``She invited her parents to her home in L.A. and lavished love and gifts on them for nearly a year. Then one day, her younger brother came for a visit. After eating the lunch she had prepared, her parents and brother went into a room, closed the door and talked alone. When my friend casually brought a tray of coffee and dessert into the room, she heard the trio talk about money and saw her parents frowning at her. Her feelings were hurt. She waited for her parents to talk about the meeting but they never did."

``Perhaps, they were admonishing him?"

``No. It turned out that they had given him a sizable sum of money for the fourth or fifth time. Later, he again wasted all the money, I heard. She tearfully confided in me for the first time that she had been discriminated against all along."

When I was young, my family lived in a provincial city. My parents sent me to an elementary school there, but my two brothers went to Deoksu Primary School in Seoul, then the best elementary school in the whole country. Since Deoksu only admitted children who lived in certain districts, my parents forged the resident papers of my brothers with the help of some brokers. They had me transferred to a school in Seoul later but not Deoksu; they didn't want to go through the costly process for me.

Generally speaking, my father has been kinder towards me than my mother has, but it was she who began to publicly regret their discrimination toward me against my brothers: ``It's all because of the times. When I was younger, girls were not humans. When you gave birth to a girl, you never received congratulations or proper care. If only your father and I did half for you of what we did for the boys, you would have become much more successful than you are. I'm truly sorry." I told her many times that I was content with my life and would probably live in the same way if given the chance again, but she wouldn't listen to me.

I wonder if other nations and cultures are seeing this kind of dramatic transition of attitudes and values as Korea is. No one knows what the next positive change to be seen in the nation will be. Hopefully, it will be a realization that surfing the Internet all day can't make one happy or a know-it-all, and that memories are more valuable than memory banks. People may depart from their computers and meet others in person and make memories. With the latest good news, I have a hunch that another reversal of attitude will come in the not too distant future.
--------------------------------------------------------------

코리아타임스에 "Random Walk" 라는 제목의 칼럼을 연재하기 시작한 지 6년이 되어갑니다. 2004년 3월 5일자부터 쓰기 시작했으니까요. 거기 실렸던 글들을 다 이곳으로 옮기는 건 보통 일이 아닐 것 같습니다. 우선 올해 첫번째 칼럼을 옮겨봅니다. 이 글은 요즘 부모들이 아들보다 딸을 선호한다는 기사를 읽고 떠오른 생각을 적은 것입니다.